Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and the price of shalom bayit

A yungerman came to Reb Shlomo Zalman with a shalom bayis problem.

He told Reb Shlomo Zalman that as a bachur, he departed from the traditional Yerushalmi garb (where

even bachurim wear a streimel), choosing to wear European-style clothing.

But when he began shidduchim, he understood that he won’t find a regular shidduch dressed as he did,

so he put back on the Yerushalmi clothes. Nevertheless, he continued to go without a streimel.

He got married, lived a Jewish life in Yerushalayim, but still didn’t wear a streimel.

One day, he came home with a $2,000 shtreimel. He thought his wife would be pleased, but she wasn’t.

She said, “I am used to you without a shtreimel. I don’t need the shtreimel.”

“But I paid two thousand dollars for it!”

Two thousand dollars was a lot of money for them, and he was upset that he spent so much on a 

streimel that he didn’t need. Their shalom bayis began to waver over the shtreimel, and this is the reason

he came to Reb Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt’l for advice.

Reb Shlomo Zalman replied, “You have a good wife. In her merit, you improved your ways. You

shouldn’t allow two thousand dollars to ruin your shalom bayis.”

“But what should I do about this loss of money?”

Reb Shlomo Zalman said, “I want to buy your streimel for myself,” and he gave the yungerman two

thousand dollars. The streimel didn’t fit perfectly on Reb Shlomo Zalman, and his rebbetzin said, “It is

very good that you helped this couple with their shalom bayis, but why must you embarrass yourself by

wearing a shtreimel that is too big for you?”

He replied, “I am very happy with this shtreimel. I would even have wanted to be buried with it because

buying it restored the shalom bayis between a couple.”

(Torah Wellsprings, Beha'alotecha, 5782)

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